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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

十三歲那年,
踏進中學.
開始了解到男女之間的奧妙關係,
看著身邊的朋友一個個幸福的模樣,
心中只是笑了笑.

十六歲那年,
中學畢業.
身邊好友戀情身經百戰經驗十足,
自己始終單身度過青少年的叛逆期,
心中也只是笑了笑.

十八歲那年,
理工學院打混了兩年.
雖已說服友人自己單身十八年,
但朋友心里始終納悶 '這怎麼可能!',
心中還是只是笑了笑.

目前, 芳齡二十歲.
戀情狀況依舊單身.
身邊的人已經不再感到驚訝.
只是希望能早點見識到雙穎的王子.
我也只是笑了笑.

不是想抱怨自己為何單身,
只是想了解怎麼保持單身.

開口閉口就說沒有遇見對的人,
是自己太挑剔, 還是在不知不覺中錯過?

自中學起, 常常有人找我聊天,
話題自然以戀情為中心.
身旁朋友不少, 看過的戀情也多.

成功也好, 失敗也罷,
自己總能為朋友提出適當的建議.
一點小成就, 就自認為戀愛達人.
可是自己的愛情, 卻是獨守空窗二十年.

近期生活起了變化, 但感情的事情,
往往會在電石火光之間忽然又有所改變.

坦白說, 我只前真的有想過.
不是隨便說說, 而是認真的考慮.
但我至今也不曉得哪裡出了錯,
曾經被視為甜蜜的回憶如今已經變質了.

好幾晚躺在床上翻來覆去,
腦海不停思考著相同的問題,
最後, 心裡的愧疚感也逐漸增加.

淚也流了, 心也痛了, 腦也累了, 我也睡了.
這樣的過程一再循環著, 答案卻始終不曾出現過.

我難追? 我太挑剔? 我吊起來賣?
這些話, 我聽多了, 但也沒得到甚麼啟發.

面對自己的愛情, 我真的束手無策.
心中常常浮現出幻象出來的擔憂.
我寧可被這股莫名的恐懼控制著,
也不願為自己的愛情站出來打拼.

也許將來的某一天, 當我一人孤獨終老,
回想起年少輕狂的時候, 可能會嘲笑自己的懦弱.

what we could have been, 3:08 AM.

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This blog is FIREFOX Friendly only...

ME

SHUANG YING, a Gemini Girl at the official age of tweeeeeeeeeeenty PLUS one.

Born on 2nd June 1989, i'm extremely gifted, with a SHARP tongue.

I'm just a cute and nice girl who goes crazy and wild at ALL times.

Some say i'm a HYPERACTIVE kid, i BOUNCE around pretty much despite being asthmatic.

Stop complaining that i'm loud and noisy, it's my way of LIFE.

I can turn out to be pretty emotional at times. So watch your back, cos i BITE.

I started my 13 years of education in Loyang Primary School, grew up in Ngee Ann Secondary School and ended up in Chinese Studies at Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

And somehow, i've studied in ZHEJIANG UNIVERSITY CITY COLLEGE in China dated 29th Feb 2008 to 6th July 2008.

Thanks to the WONDERFUL School Of Humanities, I'll be working for OurVoiceBox.sg from 11th August 2008 till probably August 2009 or something 30th April 2009.

The ONLY THING that i'm ever thankful for it is i turned out to be a better camera-woman. And i saw lots and lots and lots of stars. CLOSE-UP.

I just wanna get into the Media Industry, with hope of becoming a DJ. Or perhaps some production line stuff will do.

And starting from 2nd Nov 2009, I'm starting out as a Production Assistant at Mediacorp Chinese Drama Department.

Actually i'm very easily contented. Usually.
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Get into NTU
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eat alot and not grow fat
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GPA of at least 3.0
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new thumbdrive
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more money
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another overseas trip with LPS gang
Have a better working environment
Get a dream job
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